How Wal-Mart Hurt Our Feelings

So here we are, 16 months since the launch of America's campaign to change Wal-Mart. With a national debate raging about whether or not Wal-Mart is good for America and with the WakeUpWalMart.com movement growing to more than 246,000 supporters, it comes to this - Wal-Mart launches its very own personal attack website (yikes, it seems like someone is angry!).

On July 13, 2006, Wal-Mart, a 300 billion dollar company with 11.2 billion dollars in profits, decided to take a page right out of Karl Rove’s “swift boat” playbook and launched a new vicious attack website, paidcritics.com, against little ole WakeUpWalMart.com.

And, to be honest, our feelings are hurt (ok, not that much).

You heard it right. Wal-Mart, a company with slowing sales, a terrible public image, awful employee morale, and the cause of so many social woes in America that it’s become a living corporate experiment of how to do things wrong, has decided to attack those folks (meaning us, Democrats, reporters, activists, and little puppies… OK, we are exaggerating about the puppies, but give it time) who want Wal-Mart to be a more responsible company.

Suffice it to say, our feelings are a little hurt. We thought fighting for more affordable health care, a living wage, a better Wal-Mart and a better America were good things. We never thought a single rational person would disagree with us – boy we were wrong!

Wal-Mart’s latest website (which by our last count is the third website launched by Wal-Mart to defend how great it is to exploit 1.3 million workers for the sake of $5 toasters), decided to take a lesson from the many right wing operatives who work for the Wal-Mart campaign.

These great guys who love to stretch the truth (or what mom called liars), honed their special Wal-Mart skills on an array of right wing political campaigns. Our personal favorite is the work they did for the Swift-Boat attack campaign launched against John Kerry in 2004 (although attacking CBS and every Democrat in last decade both come as close seconds).

Of course, Wal-Mart tried to hide the fact that it started this new website, but our crack team of logicians, cryptologists, and researchers, was able to decipher the sophisticated set of “Dummy Right Wing Front Group Wal-mart Websites” (or DRWFGWW’s for short) that tie right back to…guess who…Wal-Mart.

This sophisticated (ok, not that sophisticated) set of connections, interconnections, backdoors, chains, and links establish the depths of the Wal-Mart right wing liars conspiracy.

As a service to our America, we released our “top secret” research memo on the Wal-Mart right wing conspiracy.

Top Secret Memo (Project Hurt Feelings)

From: Research Ops Team
To: WakeUpWalMart.com
Date: July 17, 2006
Subject: Deciphering Wal-Mart’s Right Wing Conspiracy

After extensive research (actually, it only took 5 minutes since all of this is pretty obvious), we were able to crack the Wal-Mart right wing code. What we have discovered is a clear chain of connections between Wal-Mart, these so called “pro Wal-Mart front groups,” and an army of right wing operatives.

Here are our findings.

Actor Facts Connection & insight
Wal-Mart
  • 300 billion dollar company
  • 11.2 billion dollars in profits (2005)
  • 1.3 million employees, 56% percent without
  • company health care, pays poverty level wages
  • Owned by Walton Family, worth 77 Billion (poor guys, how do they pay the bills)
  • Angry at Americans who Wal-Mart to do better
  • Chief Strategist, VP Bob McAdam (right winger)
  • Sponsor
  • Money
  • Ideas and strategy
  • Ok, mostly money
Working Families for Wal-Mart
  • Front Group
  • Great Place for unemployed right wing operatives
  • Project of Edelman Communications who need to
  • justify million dollar retainers
  • Building the national campaign to drive down wages and make health care unaffordable
  • Chief Spokesman, Kevin Sheridan (right winger)
  • Edelman project
  • Brilliant play on words
  • Will trade public support for $50 Wal-Mart gift card
Unionfacts.com
  • Launched by angry millionaire whose hobbies include promoting drunk driving, high levels of mercury in fish, Big Tobacco, And Wal-Mart.
  • Determined to expose the truth - working families deserve poverty level wages and no health care
  • Proud advisor to Wal-Mart VP Bob McAdam and Wal-Mart
  • Chief Lobbyist, Lee Culpepper
  • CEO of UnionFacts, Rick Berman (right winger)
  • Crazy front group
  • Will say anything for a million dollars
  • Great place to work if soul is already sold
Paidcritics.com
  • Launched by the really angry elite of the Wal-Mart/Edelman Project
  • Place for future right wing attack dogs to hone skills for the 2008 campaign
  • Willing to attack Democrats, reporters, Americans, and puppies who want a Better America and Wal-Mart
  • Swift Boat-style attack campaign
  • Willing to hurt our feelings.
  • Wal-Mart latest and greatest crazy PR project
  • Code name: “Project Desperation”
  • Possesses Official 2006 Karl Rove Playbook

Conclusion:

As you see, the paidcritics.com website is a “project” of Working Families For Wal-Mart (which by the way is really short on working families, but really popular among the paid consultants, suppliers, and right wing operatives who run the site). Working Families for Wal-Mart is a project of Wal-Mart. Ergo, paidcritics.com is a project of Wal-Mart (we love saying ergo!).

Wal-Mart’s new attack website, paidcritics.com, is an unprecedented and dangerous decision by a $300 billion dollar corporation. In fact, this may be the first time in history that a corporation has set up, directly funded, and openly managed a website whose sole purpose is to attack Democrats, and the passionate and handsome staff of our campaign, let alone all of the Americans who want Wal-Mart to become a better employer.

So in response we have launched our very own site, www.ABunchOfGreedyRightWingLiarsWhoWorkForWalMart.com which will provide a more detailed account of Wal-Mart’s right-wing conspiracy including ties to the most extreme element of the Republican Party, Tom Delay, George W. Bush, Karl Rove and John Ashcroft, a biographic summary of the key right-wing operatives involved in the Wal-Mart war room, and an accounting of Wal-Mart’s extensive political contributions to Republicans. To be honest, there is so much good stuff there that it's enough for 2 or 3 more websites (just kidding).

On the other hand, if Wal-Mart thinks this new attack website will intimidate us or our movement, they are sorely mistaken. This movement will not stop, we will not rest, our movement will continue to grow, until the day Wal-Mart stands up and does what is right for its 1.3 million employees, their families, and America.

To see how we plan to fight back, WakeUpWalMart.com sent all of the Democratic Members of Congress a personal letter outlining Wal-Mart’s vicious attack campaign being run by the public relations firm Edelman. The letter highlights just how desperate Wal-Mart has become to attack Democrats, our campaign staff, progressive groups, and all those who strive to make Wal-Mart a more responsible company.

Read the letter.

WakeUpWalMart.com is a grassroots movement of over 246,000 Americans who have joined together to fight for a better Wal-Mart and a better America .





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